Please, PLEASE watch this video. It's a clip from The Discovery Channel's Dirty Jobs, hosted by Mike Rowe (a recent inductee to my hall of fame, I might add). A geoduck ("gooey-duck") is a very large species of clam, with a life expectancy of 146 years! In this clip, Mr. Rowe takes two specimens that he harvested from the Puget sound to be cooked and eaten. Here, just watch the geoduck and Mr. Rowe's face. I promise, there is some of the most innocent and yet phallic humor you will ever see here. Watch it. Becca and I almost died for want of breath while watching the show last night. Really, WATCH IT.
29 August 2007
R.I.P.
O, I fear I have somber news to relay this day. Not fear; full well know I the sad portent of my tale. Indeed all that did know her I must now aggrieve, and all that did see her, feel her, and ride her shall not escape the melancholy of my words. Hear it now:
The day ere the sabbath, now a fortnight past, my family's faithful conveyance did cease to convey. A-tired was she, so she shook and swayed. A-thirst was she, though that which would quench did flow freely from her seams. Full from the advice of our humble entreaties, she did purpose to call upon a medick. Alas that her strength should have failed her upon the very hour she was to away!
Three days did straggle by until a means to convey our fallen friend was procured. An ill-portending sky did oversee her pilgrimage from home to help, and though she traveled on a kindly-back, the hope for her recovered return was no brighter than a single wick. It dwindled further still, after each successive day the news of her fate was delayed. On this day did the surgeon's findings reach me. The dismal character of her fate birthed a foul wind, that made a hasty demise of hope's candle. Hold fast! Now I come to the bitter fruit of my report. To our noble chariot, whose service to us hath usurped the golden summer of her years, only a black winter's end remains. All light and life is behind her now: she is dead.
(Our white Ford windstar has broken down and according to the shop and to Dad, it is not economically feasible to repair her.)
The day ere the sabbath, now a fortnight past, my family's faithful conveyance did cease to convey. A-tired was she, so she shook and swayed. A-thirst was she, though that which would quench did flow freely from her seams. Full from the advice of our humble entreaties, she did purpose to call upon a medick. Alas that her strength should have failed her upon the very hour she was to away!
Three days did straggle by until a means to convey our fallen friend was procured. An ill-portending sky did oversee her pilgrimage from home to help, and though she traveled on a kindly-back, the hope for her recovered return was no brighter than a single wick. It dwindled further still, after each successive day the news of her fate was delayed. On this day did the surgeon's findings reach me. The dismal character of her fate birthed a foul wind, that made a hasty demise of hope's candle. Hold fast! Now I come to the bitter fruit of my report. To our noble chariot, whose service to us hath usurped the golden summer of her years, only a black winter's end remains. All light and life is behind her now: she is dead.
(Our white Ford windstar has broken down and according to the shop and to Dad, it is not economically feasible to repair her.)
27 August 2007
Do you have a dirty mind?
"There was an old farmer who sat on his rock,
Stroking his whiskers and shaking his
Fist at his neighbors who sat on their ricks,
Teaching their children to play with their
Kite strings and marbles in the old days of yore,
Along came a lady who looked like a
Decent young lady who walked like a duck,
Said she discovered a new way to
Bring up the children to sew and to knit,
And the boys in the stables were shoveling up
Contents of stables left after the hunt,
The barman was feeling a nice piece of
Straw from the stables while cleaning the walls,
In came the dairy maid to play with his
Dog in the dairy where she did belong,
If you think this is dirty then you're fucking well wrong."
Stroking his whiskers and shaking his
Fist at his neighbors who sat on their ricks,
Teaching their children to play with their
Kite strings and marbles in the old days of yore,
Along came a lady who looked like a
Decent young lady who walked like a duck,
Said she discovered a new way to
Bring up the children to sew and to knit,
And the boys in the stables were shoveling up
Contents of stables left after the hunt,
The barman was feeling a nice piece of
Straw from the stables while cleaning the walls,
In came the dairy maid to play with his
Dog in the dairy where she did belong,
If you think this is dirty then you're fucking well wrong."
-Bob Saget's Old English Song
26 August 2007
A Week in Charleston
So, two weeks after I got back from Charleston, I'm finally going to tell you about it. TJ drove Rebecca and me down there on Friday, and after a long but uneventful trip, we arrived. 
For dinner, we went to California Dreaming, with Susan (TJ's girlfriend). There, we were treated to a wonderful meal complete with Sex on the Beach and some Lemony-Drink. 
(Ok, it was only a sip, but the sips were good...). After that, we retired to Susan's for some wonderful cheesecake and fudge. Then, the next day we went downtown, did some shopping...I bought some earrings...took some pictures...did a lot of sweating. We ate at Bubba Gump Shrimp & Co., and that was some good eating! The Cajun chicken sandwich was excellent, and the paper it was served on 
(The Greenboro Alabama Daily Times) made for some great reading. Apparently some man from Alabama met JFK, ran across the country, started a Shrimping Company, and married his childhood sweetheart, Jenny. After all that, we 
went back to Darren and Kim's home, and cooled off. The next day, we went to the outlets. I bought some books and I actually bought some very pretty shirts. TJ went home to Newport, and the four of us went back to Darren and Kim's. I got to cook the next two days - I made meatloaf and then chicken teriyaki, and Becca made blondies for dessert. Wednesday, Darren took Becca and me to the Historic Charles Towne Landing, where we practically melted in the sun. I guess it's true what Darren says - we always pick the hottest day of the year to go do something outside. Anyway, we explored the animal area, and saw 
what species the forests sheltered back when Charles Towne was a new settlement. There was a Puma, a Black bear, some Buffalo, water fowl, elk, deer, river otters (so cute!), and a hell of 
a lot of colorful but gigantic garden spiders. Seriously, for every cubic yard of space in that forest, there must have been two of those gigantic spiders - they were the size of my fist! Anyway, one night we went to Barnes and Noble, where we spent bookoodles of time. 
I love book stores, and I bought some more books that night. Friday, Kim took Rebecca and I to the beach, where we were ambushed by waves (literally, they came out of nowhere, right over my head). We had a lot of fun playing Apples to Apples, and then Gestures. We had a lot of fun when I was the judge in apples to apples and my card was "Cranky." Darren and Kim submit perfectly good answers, but Becca, she submits the card that says, "Anne Frank." Terrible, but funny. We went and saw the 
Citadel (it's huge!). We saw Deja Vu, 300, Mona Lisa Smile, and Reno 911. And The Holiday!!! I loved the Holiday, although it has committed a class-4 felony because it has made me think that Jude Law isn't all that bad. Anyway, the point is that it was a wonderful week and I had a lot of fun. I can't wait to do it again, but I hope it when we do, it's not as hot.
For dinner, we went to California Dreaming, with Susan (TJ's girlfriend). There, we were treated to a wonderful meal complete with Sex on the Beach and some Lemony-Drink. 
(Ok, it was only a sip, but the sips were good...). After that, we retired to Susan's for some wonderful cheesecake and fudge. Then, the next day we went downtown, did some shopping...I bought some earrings...took some pictures...did a lot of sweating. We ate at Bubba Gump Shrimp & Co., and that was some good eating! The Cajun chicken sandwich was excellent, and the paper it was served on 
(The Greenboro Alabama Daily Times) made for some great reading. Apparently some man from Alabama met JFK, ran across the country, started a Shrimping Company, and married his childhood sweetheart, Jenny. After all that, we 
went back to Darren and Kim's home, and cooled off. The next day, we went to the outlets. I bought some books and I actually bought some very pretty shirts. TJ went home to Newport, and the four of us went back to Darren and Kim's. I got to cook the next two days - I made meatloaf and then chicken teriyaki, and Becca made blondies for dessert. Wednesday, Darren took Becca and me to the Historic Charles Towne Landing, where we practically melted in the sun. I guess it's true what Darren says - we always pick the hottest day of the year to go do something outside. Anyway, we explored the animal area, and saw 
what species the forests sheltered back when Charles Towne was a new settlement. There was a Puma, a Black bear, some Buffalo, water fowl, elk, deer, river otters (so cute!), and a hell of 
a lot of colorful but gigantic garden spiders. Seriously, for every cubic yard of space in that forest, there must have been two of those gigantic spiders - they were the size of my fist! Anyway, one night we went to Barnes and Noble, where we spent bookoodles of time. 
I love book stores, and I bought some more books that night. Friday, Kim took Rebecca and I to the beach, where we were ambushed by waves (literally, they came out of nowhere, right over my head). We had a lot of fun playing Apples to Apples, and then Gestures. We had a lot of fun when I was the judge in apples to apples and my card was "Cranky." Darren and Kim submit perfectly good answers, but Becca, she submits the card that says, "Anne Frank." Terrible, but funny. We went and saw the 
Citadel (it's huge!). We saw Deja Vu, 300, Mona Lisa Smile, and Reno 911. And The Holiday!!! I loved the Holiday, although it has committed a class-4 felony because it has made me think that Jude Law isn't all that bad. Anyway, the point is that it was a wonderful week and I had a lot of fun. I can't wait to do it again, but I hope it when we do, it's not as hot.
21 August 2007
Just Shoot Me Now
Today has been the day from Hell, so where do I begin? Probably by telling you that although I will feel really really bad about it later, this post will contain a lot of profanity. You have been warned. Last year, when I made my schedule, I thought I was sooooo friggin' smart. I picked two courses - Shakespearean Literature and Spanish Literature of the Golden Age - and made my schedule work for both classes. My goal was to take both classes for a week, and then drop the one that was the least interesting or had the most busywork. I was certain, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that my other courses were rock solid. Those were GN 412 (Genetics Lab), BCH 451 (Biochemistry), and ZO 250 (Animal Anatomy and Diversity). I could drop Shakespeare or Spanish Lit and still have enough hours to be full time. That changed today. I looked at my schedule for the umpteenth time and saw the little asterisk by ZO 250 and ZO 250L, and noted again for the umpteenth time that it said I didn't have the prerequisites for the course. It said I had one, but needed ZO 150. Well, I thought (and I thought I saw it written on my degree requirements and on Pack Tracks) that you couldn't get credit for both BIO 181 (which I've taken) and ZO 150. In my mind, that made BIO 181 a substitution for ZO 150. Not so, I found today. I have to take ZO 150 before I take ZO 250 (luckily, the degree requirement is ZO 150 or ZO 250). I am waiting to speak with my adviser before I drop the course. I need to talk to her about my internship too, but she's not returned any of the emails I've sent, and that's just making more and more frustrated. ZO 150 is closed to registration right now, but I could probably get into it if I wanted. I don't want to. I just want it to go away and never see it again. You think my adviser could have told me, when I told her that I would be taking ZO 250, that I didn't have the fucking prerequisites! Mainly, I am angry at myself for not catching it sooner. This has thrown my entire schedule out of whack. I set it up to be able to drop a 3-hour course, not a 4-hour one like Zoology. That means that I can't drop one of my disposable classes, but I really think I want to drop Spanish - I've seen the schedule, and the busywork looks ridiculous. So I did a frantic search for another class to take - I searched history, anthropology, other Spanishes, sociology, seminars, and found nada. But then I found a course to add: FLF 101 - French 101. I've always wanted to take French, and now I have the opportunity. Plus, if I take it now, I can take 102 next semester. But I am so confused and pissed off about that fucking ZO 250! I have a terrible inferiority complex about the start of a semester. I always have a mild anxiety attack, thinking that I won't be able to handle my classes, that I'll fail, that I'll ruin my entire academic career and plan of work and end up graduating a year or more late, and so on. Add to that the uncertainty of not having the prerequisite knowledge for a course and not knowing if I can still take it or if I really should drop it, and my anxiety went from mild to shit-shit-fuck-fuck in a hurry. That combined with having to change my plan of work, and add one more required class to my last semester (and it doesn't get out until 3:55pm on friggin' Fridays), and having to sit in a seminar about how to reach your career goals when I haven't even decided what my fucking career goal is, I wasn't having a good day. None of my emails asking for help and advice were returned (until just now, which explains why I'm not cussing so much), and I just felt like I was shoved against a fucking wall with no way out. Biochemistry is supposed to be a bitch, and my genetics lab looks the same. So in a way, I'm relieved that I probably won't be taking ZO 250 this semester - it might be too much to handle. I'm going to have two hard science courses, six hours of tutoring a week, and three more hours a week for that internship assignment (the course associated with the work I've already done), and then Shakespeare, Spanish Lit, and French. ZO will just have to wait.
So then I called home, and talked to Mom, and her first words to me are that it has been "The day from Hell," at home. Just fucking great. The dogs got out, the consignment shop around the corner found them and held them for us because the dogs were just meandering down the highway with no idea how dangerous it was. Dad went to get them, and Mom and Dad decided to keep the dogs in the house overnight so they don't get out again. So Mom gives Zeus a bath in the tub (because, being a water dog, he's just filthy). Then Rob shows up with his girlfriend and her daughter, wanting to get a copy of his social security card to apply for a job at walmart. They end up staying for an hour, doing nothing, just sitting there, not talking to Mom and Dad. The little girl keeps asking her mommy when they can home, and yet they just stay. Finally they all leave, and Mom and Dad have dinner, and let the dogs roam the house freely. As a treat, Dad opens a can of Alpo and gives it to the dogs. Zoey acts the pig and eats hers as well as Zeus's, and then promptly throws up on one of the kitchen rugs. And then Zoey starts eating her own vomit. Mom takes the rug outside, and comes in to find that Zoey has thrown up onto another rug. And if that wasn't enough, she was eating that too. Dad took that rug out, and then the dogs were sent out, damn the consequences. This weekend, we're installing an electric fence with those dog-zapping collars to keep the dogs inside the yard. Fun fun fun. Fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck.
So then I called home, and talked to Mom, and her first words to me are that it has been "The day from Hell," at home. Just fucking great. The dogs got out, the consignment shop around the corner found them and held them for us because the dogs were just meandering down the highway with no idea how dangerous it was. Dad went to get them, and Mom and Dad decided to keep the dogs in the house overnight so they don't get out again. So Mom gives Zeus a bath in the tub (because, being a water dog, he's just filthy). Then Rob shows up with his girlfriend and her daughter, wanting to get a copy of his social security card to apply for a job at walmart. They end up staying for an hour, doing nothing, just sitting there, not talking to Mom and Dad. The little girl keeps asking her mommy when they can home, and yet they just stay. Finally they all leave, and Mom and Dad have dinner, and let the dogs roam the house freely. As a treat, Dad opens a can of Alpo and gives it to the dogs. Zoey acts the pig and eats hers as well as Zeus's, and then promptly throws up on one of the kitchen rugs. And then Zoey starts eating her own vomit. Mom takes the rug outside, and comes in to find that Zoey has thrown up onto another rug. And if that wasn't enough, she was eating that too. Dad took that rug out, and then the dogs were sent out, damn the consequences. This weekend, we're installing an electric fence with those dog-zapping collars to keep the dogs inside the yard. Fun fun fun. Fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck.
20 August 2007
Sharpe - Check this out!
Just in case you were wondering who it was I got to guard the room, please please check out this link: Major Richard Sharpe. It's hilarious!!
Live from Raleigh...
It's the life and times at NCSU! Let me start from the beginning. Friday, I woke up to find that the van I had a parking permit for had sprung a large but impossible-to-find radiator-fluid leak. The ford dealership couldn't fit us in before Monday, so we were stuck with only one working vehicle to take Rebecca and me and our stuff up to Raleigh. Consider this: coming home for the summer, my stuff filled one van to capacity, and that was with only two riders. To fit my stuff and Rebecca's stuff into the back of Mom's van, with four riders seemed to require an Act of God. Surprisingly, we got everything but my TV and TV stand to fit. I don't know how, don't ask, it just worked. Then we got here, got most of our books - some were sold out and awaiting restocking. I'm going back tomorrow to see if they have mine. Then we all went an got some ice cream (all you can eat for $1.00) from the NCSU dairy unit. After that, Mom and Dad went home, and Rebecca and I unpacked. Unpacking clothes and computers and dishes was fast and easy. But I have spent the better part of two days arranging posters and pictures on the walls, and I'm not done yet. 
I must announce that Chuck Norris has officially retired as the protector of this room. Instead, I have enlisted Major Richard Sharpe of His Majesty's Service to guard my side of the room. I have posted an official flier to this effect, and you can see it here. Rebecca has yet to employ a protector for her side of the room, so Major Sharpe has graciously offered to take on that duty until such time as it is filled. Just to let you know what a great man he is, Major Sharpe has even offered to come to the assistance of my Captain Jack Sparrow action figure should the need arise. Given Captain Sparrow's proclivity to rum and disorderly conduct, and the unfortunate talent of attracting attention and trouble wherever he goes, Major Sharpe's offer is not a light one. But that's enough about him. After a while, I got to meet some of Rebecca's friends from Summer Ventures, Governor's School, High School, and her boyfriend and his friends. We walked around campus, and then went and saw Blades of Glory for free on Harris Field (very, very funny movie). Sunday, we went to lunch, and then Becca went to meet some friends. I worked on Posters, and on Blackboard. I made five new banners for the Aquaculture curriculum, and I'm quite proud of them. And now I'm getting ready to go to a tutoring workshop. After that, we're going to find our classes on campus, and then who knows. Coming soon: A Week in Charleston.
I must announce that Chuck Norris has officially retired as the protector of this room. Instead, I have enlisted Major Richard Sharpe of His Majesty's Service to guard my side of the room. I have posted an official flier to this effect, and you can see it here. Rebecca has yet to employ a protector for her side of the room, so Major Sharpe has graciously offered to take on that duty until such time as it is filled. Just to let you know what a great man he is, Major Sharpe has even offered to come to the assistance of my Captain Jack Sparrow action figure should the need arise. Given Captain Sparrow's proclivity to rum and disorderly conduct, and the unfortunate talent of attracting attention and trouble wherever he goes, Major Sharpe's offer is not a light one. But that's enough about him. After a while, I got to meet some of Rebecca's friends from Summer Ventures, Governor's School, High School, and her boyfriend and his friends. We walked around campus, and then went and saw Blades of Glory for free on Harris Field (very, very funny movie). Sunday, we went to lunch, and then Becca went to meet some friends. I worked on Posters, and on Blackboard. I made five new banners for the Aquaculture curriculum, and I'm quite proud of them. And now I'm getting ready to go to a tutoring workshop. After that, we're going to find our classes on campus, and then who knows. Coming soon: A Week in Charleston.
16 August 2007
A Summer (Hopefully) Not Squandered
Today I finished part of my "internship" with Mr. Kemp at the CCC Aquaculture unit. I have written up all the paperwork necessary to apply for permission to count this experience as my "External Learning Experience." When I get to school, I'll meet with my advisor, turn in the paperwork, and hopefully get to register for the course. If that happens, I then register for the course and write a report of my experience and hopefully get a good enough grade to get my 3-credit hours. If that happens, my ELE requirement will be satisfied and I'll be home free to graduate in May. I have just over 2-credit hours of work done, and I need only to work another 20 hours to get the full 3-hours (or 135 hours) of credit. I will be working from my computer at school since I can do it all online provided I have the necessary information. I will also do some image editing and splicing, or as I like to say, Graphic Design, for each course's home-page banner. I can't believe things worked out so well!
13 August 2007
Wonderful Visit
I had a wonderful visit in Charleston, I really didn't want to leave. But, all good things must come to an end... Anyway, I know that I must do the visit full justice in a long, long post with plenty of pictures and gossip, but now that the computer has been moved into Mom and Dad's room, I just don't feel as comfortable being on the computer. So, in one week (less, actually) I'll be in Raleigh and I will tell you all about it, and more. Until then!
08 August 2007
Hola!
I'm here in sunny Charleston just having a blast! I thought I'd say 'hi' really quick just to let you know I am still alive and the only reason I haven't written a post in a while is that I've just not been able to. That said, "Hi!" and "Bye!"