Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me...etc. Yes, it was a wonderful, happy birthday! It started with me opening my locker at 4AM to find a card from my 'secret admirer' in the locker next to mine. Then Mel left a bunch of nickel samples going dry in my hood, and on each one she had written a letter, so that they spelled "Happy B-day, Jess." Then Hope came in and gave me a big hug and told me she had forgotten my present at home, but that she'd get it to me when she could. Then I was taken out to lunch by four lovely ladies, one of whom insisted on buying my meal. Then I was dragged from lunch to the breakroom where Mel revealed the chocolate pound cake she had baked for me. And then everyone at work made a point of stopping to wish me Happy Birthday, and then laughed (seriously, laughed!) when I told them how old I was. Then, I talked to my parents and my sister, and they wished me a happy birthday. And then Darren took me out to dinner at Madra Rua's (I LOVED it!), where I had my first Irish Coffee (didn't so much love it). And then I stayed up late on Friday putting together my new bookshelf and then cleaning. I woke up on Saturday and assembled some food, but it turns out I needn't have bothered because everyone who came to my party brought at least one thing, and usually a lot more than one thing. So, plenty of food, plenty of cake, plenty of drinks, and most importantly, plenty of friends! We played Apples to Apples, and then Cranium, where the girls kicked the guys' butts. It was like celebrating at home, and I've been incredibly homesick lately, so this past weekend was just what I needed. Thank you to everyone who wished me a happy birthday, or who came to my party, or who got me a present. I loved all my presents! After the party on Saturday, I stayed up late munching on baguettes while doing word-sudoku and watching the Dark Crystal. And now my time limit on this computer is up, so let me simply conclude that I had a a wonderful birthday and I am so very grateful that I have such good friends.

Work-related Rant

There is no point to this post, so don't bother looking for one. I just want to rant about my work, and how I've worked almost forty hours this week already, and I still feel like I'm making no headway. AND I spilled one liter of 6M sodium hydroxide on my jeans today and had to walk around in loaner-sweat pants. I just left work with a shitload of things left for other people to finish up for me, and yet there's still more work to do. My company needs to learn to look beyond the bottom line and realize that there's only so many samples we mushrooms in the lab can analyze before a deadline, and they've already taken in more than twice that capacity. I feel like I should go into work this saturday, but after another week of working 50+ hours, they can go screw themselves. My birthday is Friday, and although I have decidedly not been looking forward to it for many reasons, and although I've already celebrated it with my family, I'm taking this weekend for me. End of story. I'm having a 'birthday party' this Saturday, at which most of my friends can meet Mel and Lyne (no promises, but I think they can make it), and then the other half of my friends can see my place. But first I must clean it because it is a sty. I need saturday to sleep, to clean and cook and entertain, so, as I've said, work can go screw itself. I'll be there on Monday for another grueling week of what is shaping out to be months of this hectic, bone-throbbing work.

I have not posted anything of note recently. I've had the opportunity, but honestly, I've had nothing good to say. I could talk about how hard the adjustment to living on my own has been, but I think that's depressing. I could talk at length about the isolation I feel from my family. I spent an hour crying on the phone with my mother this past Monday talking about that. I could talk about how much I hate NC State sports, and how they seem to be the priority to some people, and not family. I could talk about how I went to church this past weekend with Mel and Lyne, and how much I enjoyed it, even if I did cry through almost the entire sermon. I could talk about how I've been busting my ass at work because I'm running a two-person test by myself now, and most days I feel like I make no progress at all. But I do have something good to say - I'm so glad that I have finally gotten the fuck out of Charleston. I am so glad that I finally get to spend much needed quality time with my family. In short, when I have something positive to say that won't drag you down into the mire with me, I'll post it here. Until then, bear with the silence.

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Meditation on Cats

Cats. Felines. Fleabags. I've never been much of a "cat-person", per-se. I love animals (all except the eight-legged varieties), and cats are included. I love dogs more, because dogs are loyal and loving and are always happy to see you. Cats can be loving, and they can be happy to see you - when it's time to eat, or play, or do something that benefits them (except take a bath). Dogs know when you're down, and they try to cheer you up. A dog can be a balm for your soul. Cats really don't give a damn, in my experience.

Well, anyway, when I went over to Mel's aunt's place, there were two dogs - Bonnie and Inkspot - and one cat - Tom. Bonnie was a beagle-basset hound mix, I think, and Inkspot was the male version of my Scrappy, had she lived to be that old. Both dogs were happy outside, but Tom, Mel told me, had been pining for her aunt. Her aunt, she told me, would hold Tom in her lap and pet him, and he'd just purr away contentedly, but Mel, her roommate, and her friend were all allergic to cats, so they couldn't hold him. Well, when I found him, I pet him for a minute to get him used to me and then I scooped him up. I have never had a cat be more at home in my arms than Tom was - he was more content to be held than my Socks ever was (even if that was ages ago). The five of us girls sat down after dinner and watched Dan in Real Life (great movie- made me want to cry at times - but a great movie). Tom curled up in my lap and kneaded my belly while I stroked his fur for most of the movie. Then he went to sleep, and I could see him fall in and out of REM sleep because his feet and tail stub (his tail, tragically, had to be amputated after an accident years ago) would twitch and shudder like most cats do when they dream. When the movie was almost over, Tom got up and ate dinner, but it was so nice to hold him for that hour - hour and a half! I find I really do love cats - even if dogs are better.

Today at work, Hope, whose hobby involved catching stray cats, spaying and neutering them, and then finding them good homes, listened to me talk about Tom, and then said she had a kitten that was just like Tom and that she hadn't yet found a home for her yet. Do tell...I thought. I'm seriously contemplating getting a cat - it will be someone to talk to at the very least, and if it's a loving cat, then it will be someone to cuddle with when I go to sleep. I'm not sure if I can afford one now, but eventually...it would be nice.

Hope is very thorough when she gives her cats to other people - she asked me all sorts of questions. The one that stuck out was a little weird. She said I was at the age where I'd find a boyfriend and could very well wind up pregnant. Would I get rid of the cat if I ever got pregnant? Mon Dieu! Me...pregnant? Right. I mean - don't get me wrong - I want children of my own someday when (if ever) I get married, and I'm very much looking forward to being pregnant - but not now. I'm getting ready to turn 22. In a year, I'd be as old as my mother was when she married my father. In two years, I'd be the same age my mother was when she had me. Could I be ready to have my own child in two years? I rather doubt it. I'm still resigning myself to the fact that if I do want to get married and have children someday, I have to get out there and start dating, something I really am not looking forward to. The whole dating thing just seems rather pointless in my case, which is one of the few reasons I'm glad still kinda young - I've got a few years before crunch time, so I don't have to date until I'm ready, or I absolutely have to, whichever comes first. So, my answer to Hope was that I would never get rid of a cat just because I got pregnant, and if for any reason I did need to give up the cat, I'd give it to a good home or right back to Hope.

Then she asked if I'd ever let my boyfriend be mean to my cat. No, absolutely not. I think animals and small children are perfect judges of character, and if my cat (hypothetically speaking) hated the guy I was dating, I think I'd call it quits (as long as it was a nice kitty to begin with). That seemed to satisfy Hope, and she asked me to let her know if I would ever be interested in one of her kittens. So, there ends my meditation on cats.

Hello, I just got back...

Hello, I just got back from Mel's place. I had dinner with her and her friends. And then we watched movies "Dan In Real Life" and then "Holiday." Why do nice guys always pick girls which treat them like dirt? And why do always these movies always in halfway when real life is never like that? Anyway, if I could honestly call myself a lady, I'd call it lady's night. But as it is, I had a really good time. It was really good to have friends to hang out with. And I hope that we're having a good night. listen

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