Running with Scissors

I've just returned from watching Running with Scissors. Actually, I've just returned from the store with my Chef Boyardee lasagna and skittles (taste the rainbow). Prior to going to the store, I had just finished watching Running with Scissors. My first and last thought on this movie, "What the hell????"

And now the in between thoughts: You may have to be psychoanalyzed after watching this film. I can't believe how depressed and out of sorts I feel from watching this movie - and yet the movie had some very, very, very funny parts. Laugh-so-hard-you-snort (I swear someone did) kind of funny parts. But, more than anything, this movie made me feel so frustrated. I wanted to physically shake some sense into all of the featured characters.

You're probably wondering what the story is. It is the autobiography of this man named Augusten, whose parents are Annete Benning and Alec Baldwin. From a very early age, his mother both babied him and treated him as her equal (which is not saying much). She was an aspiring writer (oh, puh-lease!), who would call her eight-year-old son's school and say that he wouldn't be attending today because he had "over-shampooed his hair and because he had to help mommy get ready for a party." Flash forward a bit, and his parents are on the verge of a divorce, a point which was probably reached with much help from mom's narcissistic, overly-dramatic, and hysterical ways that both castrate and isolate her husband, and dad's quiet, drunkenly disinterest in both his son and his wife.

They go see a shrink, who is to say the least, unorthodox. He first comes to their house, and after asking mom if she has sex with her husband (yes), does she enjoy it (no), does she have thoughts of suicide (yes), how often (after having sex with her husband). And then the good doctor Finch hands mom a Valium - the first pill of a literal torrent of brain-supressing mind-numbing medications. Flash forward, and Finch has lost his practice because he couldn't pay for the building, but he still sees the few patients he's retained at his home - a vibrant pink and crumbling southern mansion, jam-packed with junk, refuse, and other unmentionables.

Mom has her session there, and then tells her son that he is staying there. She never tells him how long he's going to stay, but eventually Finch adopts Augusten. Augusten fits right in with Finch's two daughters and his estranged, gay son. Seriously, they have enough psychological problems to keep the folks at Brenn Marr occupied until the next apocalypse. Moving on, Augusten lives in the crumbling mansion, getting sucked further and further into this wacky family, while his mother is in and out visiting the doctor - and every time we see mom, she looks worse. Augusten, who is gay, forms a relationship with Finch's estranged son, which leads to many complications later on, but where would any of us be without our unhappy childhoods? Dad's been out of the picture now for a while, and hasn't tried to contact his son, and even hung up the phone on his son's emergency call.

This movie is so twisted I can't even keep the story semi-straight - it wan't straight to begin with. Mom slips further and further into craziness, is committed for observation, released, and then decides to take all of her dining/cooking/silver wear and line it all up on the back lawn so it can be purified by the night. You never know if she gets better, but you do get to see Augusten escape, just before the credits roll in and let you know that the story was true and really happened to the real-life Augusten. Are you confused? Good, me too. And now, I've got homework to do.