Just a typical Monday night in 202C...

"I didn't make you come here."
--Jessica

"No, but I have."
--Timothy, Callie's Boyfriend

A Wedding

It's been four and half months since Darren and Kim's wedding, and here I sit ready to tell you about another wedding, my sister Rita's Wedding. Rita and her husband Patrick became engaged on the day of Kim and Darren's Wedding, and were married a week or so ago. From the pictures I can honestly say the wedding was beautiful! I loved her dress! My sister has excellent taste. The purple accents and flowers were so gorgeous, and look at Skye (my niece: Rita's daughter)! She's so beautiful, just like her mother! I believe that Michael, my sister Lisann's husband took the photos. The photos are just phenomenal! I wish I could be that good with a camera. This last photo is my favorite. The clasped hands represent so much feeling and emotion and love and it just makes me tear up every time I see it! I am truly sorry that I couldn't go, and I wish Rita, Patrick, and Skye all the happiness in the world!

When innocent statements are heard by dirty minds

Callie's boyfriend Tim, apologizing to Callie, "Sorry Callie, but it's a little harder when you're here."

What exactly does "it's" refer to? (And why is he sorry???)

Oh the wonder of ...something or other

It's Monday. I had a really good weekend, evidenced by the fact that I went to sleep with a smile etched on my face (I really did try to stop smiling, but my face wouldn't listen). That carried over into today, where I didn't quite wake up with a smile (I hate waking up...so smiling is out of the question), but again, I was happy, and because I was in a good mood, everything else seemed to augment that good mood. I got three extra points on my first Sociology exam (which consisted of six page paper), bumping my grade up to 75/75 (i.e. 100). That means for my first three tests this semester, I've made a 100 on all of them. And I have one tomorrow that I'm pretty confident I won't ace, but I won't do badly. I was very concerned that because I went home instead of staying at school to study, I wouldn't have enough time to do all that I needed to get done in terms of studying. But that was OK with me because I really really wanted to go home. I'm very happy that I did, and as it turns out I didn't need the entire weekend to study after all. I'm nearly done now, and it's before midnight! What is the world coming to?

Personal DNA Revisited

I forgot to include a link to my personal report. Here it is. Enjoy.

Hmmm...

Like I have said before, the Oscar season sort of sneaked up on me. Probably because this semester has pretty much sapped all of my time, and most likely because the main reason I kept up with the Oscars was because Johnny Depp was nominated that one year. Now, I really couldn't care less. Seriously, I have an entire column in my room just papered with hot actors that I haven't given a serious glance to in months. How can one person change so much in such a short time? Who knows? Anyway, I watched the Oscars tonight. It was good, Ellen Degeneres hosted, and she was very good. Leonardo diCaprio didn't win; neither did Meryl Streep. Actually, I like Meryl Streep a lot, I just didn't think The Devil Wears Prada deserved to win any awards. That's really all I have to say about the Oscars this year. They were the perfect ending to a perfect weekend. I really have not stopped smiling. This weekend was awesome! It's amazing what that bit of happiness can do to a person's morale. I'm happy. That's amazing. I got a present for Valentine's day. That's indescribable. Spring break is in one week, and I get to stay at home the entire week. That's vacation. I'm going to bed now. That's probably a lie. Anyways, goodnight!

Personal DNA

Hold your mouse over each band to see what they have to say about me. Check it out..

Considerate Idealist

Beauty in Sound

If you haven't already seen The New World, I'd advise you to go see it. It is a retelling of the story of Pocahontas and John Smith, that actually isn't a retelling, more of a true-telling. And, in addition to the stunning visual beauty of this film, it also has beauty in its sounds. Take this clip here: The New World. The last minute or so of the clip (you do have to crank the volume up a lot) has the most beautiful sounds in the world, to me, that is. And it's not a musical score - it's nature sounds. It's the sound of water lapping at the shore, insects chirruping, frogs singing, wind blowing through leaves, and a whole host of other sounds that I can't identify as anything else but wonderful. I've never heard it's match in real life, I've only heard disjointed bits and pieces, never all the sounds together in the same symphony. I could listen to that sound all day, all night, all year, and never grow tired of it. It reminds me of home, of sitting outside on the porch soaking up the last rays and warmth of the sun on a summer day, a closed book in my hand, forgotten in favor of listening to the orchestra of life all around and yet unseen in the gloaming. Sigh. I want to go home.

Callieism

Callie, on making bubble gum pop, "Oh, you just blow until the whole thing explodes. Just like other things in life."

Care to elaborate???

Ick

I get to go to class in about five minutes, and as I get myself ready, all I feel is...blah. I didn't have a weekend - I didn't get that break from school that a weekend normally brings. Since Friday afternoon, all I have done is study study study. I woke up this morning - not counting the dozen or so times I woke up between 2 and 8am - and I felt overwhelmed and exhausted. I can think of a ton of things I need to know by my exam on Wednesday that I don't know yet, and I wonder if I'll be able to get it down by then. We'll see.

I forgot to mention...

I read Memoirs of a Geisha over Christmas break. I've never read a more beautifully written book, and it was very refreshing to find a book that I just could not put down. I saw the movie first, and reading the book filled in a lot of the details that they left out. The culture, the traditions, the circumstances, the ambiance...these were some of the things that were left out of the movie. Anyway, I just thought you should know. Now, back to genetics. One more chapter today, and I can relax for the rest of the night. This is so weird - getting the bulk of my studying done days in advance...and tomorrow I plan to start studying for Chemistry which is over a week in advance. Hmmm....what has come over me? Oh, goody, Chromosome Mutations, fabulous.

Hi again

Yet again I find myself looking at a blank screen wondering what to type. The problem this time is that I have so much to say and I have no idea where to start.

• Should I start with all the bruises and aches and pains I have from getting thrown to the ground time after time in self defense class, or should I start with my last quiz in sociology that I just so happened to ace?
  
• How about how worried I am about my first exam in sociology - a six page essay - that I thought was easy, but everyone else thought was hard? Did I take too much for granted and miss something in the essay questions, or is it just that I'm good at writing?
  
• How about the fact that I've been avoiding calling home because I'm afraid of what could be happening at home?
  
• Or how about how I finally looked up this weird, nuisance of a condition that I have and I've found out that basically, I may never ever be able to get rid of it?
  
• What about the fact that I spent my Friday, this Friday, going to class, tutoring, and then studying, until eleven?
  
• How about the fact that I have so much to do in this next week - study and take my genetics exam, write some sort of paper, and then study for my chemistry exam that I'll take the week after, all so I can go home.
  
• How about the fact that I'm willing to work until after ten every night the next week just so I can go home?
  
• What about the fact that I get to register for classes in three weeks for next semester, which means I have to meet with my advisor and tell her again that I haven't looked at any internships or research opportunities and that my interests in my future have not only not become any clearer, they've also spread out into murky and uncharted waters?
• How about the card I've been making for the past three weeks that I'm now chickening out of giving it to the person I made it for because I don't want to be too sentimental and too overbearing and too clingy and send them running as fast as they can in the opposite direction?
  
• How about the fact that I've been reading Cyrano de Bergerac for the past two weeks and enjoying it immensely? Did I mention that the book is in French and that I don't speak or understand French?
  
• Did I mention how Gerard Depardieu has just become one of my favorite actors, and has been placed in my hotties folder?

How about I just leave everything as I've written it above and not choose somewhere to start, only somewhere to end. Like...here.

How to mess with someone

Wanna play a trick on someone you don't like? If you have access to their computer try this: Do a shift + print screen on their desktop. Open up MS Paint. Hit Ctrl + v (paste). An image of the desktop should appear. Save it to the desktop as something simple (i.e. desktop). Exit paint. Go back to the desktop. Right click, go to arrange icons and you should see that "show desktop icons" is checked. Uncheck it. Wait a few minutes, and the icons will disappear. Right click again and go to properties, and then desktop. Select the image you made of the desktop as the desktop, on "stretch" display mode. Hit apply, and exit. The desktop should now look exactly as it did when you started. However, if you try clicking on any of the icons, nothing will happen (you hid the icons, so it's just an image, duh). Sit back and enjoy.

Bleh.

Mission Accomplished: V-Day

For a week now, Callie's boyfriend Tim and I have been scheming to surprise Callie on Valentine's day. My part was relatively simple: provide unneeded gift advice and let Tim into the room to set up his gifts before Callie got back from class. Tim and I have been getting dirty looks from Callie, who suspected something was up, but we were able to keep the plan on the down-low. I wasn't here to see Callie's reaction to the surprise, but I can see now that it was all worth it to see how happy Callie is now. Tim gave Callie a pink monkey stuffed animal with gummy bears, two hugging monkeys with chocolate, and the pièce de resistance, twelve beautiful pink roses. As I said, it was all worth it. Happy Valentine's Day!

Wonderful Start

What a wonderful start to Valentine's day! Guess what I did? I decorated p**** cookies! If you want to see pictures of the ones I decorated, click here and here. If you want to see pictures of the ones Callie decorated, click here and here. Warning: there is some strong thematic content. And if you think those are bad, you probably wouldn't approve of what my RA gave us in our Valentine "goody" bags. Hint: it's not candy. Anyway, Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentine's Day!

I'm walkin' on sunshine, whoa, I'm walkin' on sunshine, whoa, I'm walking on sunshine, whoa, and don't it feel good! And don't it feel good!

Rumble in 202

There's going to be a cat fight soon in suite 202. In case you haven't figured it out, I live in 202. The suite door opens to the outside, and university policy prohibits the propping open of any external doors. Thus, it is prohibited to prop our suite door open. But the girls in the D suite do it all the time. The girls in the D room will leave their door wide open, and then they'll go somewhere and prop the suite door, making it extremely easy for someone to walk right in and steal anything they wanted out of their room. Not only that, leaving the door propped lets anyone get in - some psychopath could walk in off the street and take a nap in our shower, and Callie and I will not stand for it. My God, why can't they take their keys with them? Are they that lazy? Well, yes, if you've ever seen their room, you'd say they were. So, Callie and I brought together our diplomatic skills and wrote a nice little letter, stating that the aforementioned propping of the door was prohibited and that we would unprop the door whenever it was propped, and that we would see to it that anyone who leaves the door propped will be turned in to the powers that be. We printed our message, signed it, and taped it to the suite door. About an hour ago, Jill (from the D room) walked into the suite, ripped the message off the door, then went into her room and slammed her door, all the while bitching about us because we unpropped the door on her earlier today. I don't want my shit stolen and I don't want to be assaulted in my bed (or anywhere else for that matter). So excuse the hell out of me. Audrey, who lives in the B room across the hall, told us about what Jill did, and has told us that she [Audrey] and her roommate Jackie would be willing to ally with us because they could not stand Jill or Julie (the girls in the D room). I say bring it. If it's against the university's policy, then what's the problem? Don't do it. Some people make me feel so mature, and that's saying a lot. So, in conclusion, Bring it on.

HIV/AIDS

Have you ever heard an expression along the lines of "take care of the problems at home before you try to fix next door?" If so, then please tell me why we are focusing so much on HIV/AIDS in Africa and China instead of here, at home, in America? There are one million people living in the United States that are infected with HIV/AIDS. One million people as of TODAY. And the number is growing. Now I am not saying that we should neglect Africa and China and other areas that desperately need our help and intervention. I'm saying we should not ignore HIV/AIDS in our home. If we do, it will come back to haunt us.

No Worries

Life is better. Home life isn't, but life in general is ok. My parents took us kids out to eat at a Mexican restaurant, then to a movie - Night at the Museum. I enjoyed the food, I enjoyed the movie, but overall, I didn't have a good time. Probably because the last time I went to a movie or dinner, the company I was with was perfect and exactly what I wanted, and I wasn't on eggshells waiting for some arbitrary thing to spark a full-fledged fight. But no good will come of talking about that here, so I won't. After that, we went home, and I jumped back onto our home computer. My younger brother, complete genius that he isn't, decided that he was competent enough to do a system restore on our computer, in the hopes that that would speed up the computer. Fine. But he did a system recovery, and wiped out everything except data files that had been loaded on our computer ever since we brought it home from the store years ago. Not only that, it's running ten times slower now. So I spent the weekend installing necessary programs (like Adobe and spybot) and trying to get the computer to run faster. Its complete reboot time, from the moment we turned it on, to the second it was functional enough to use a program, took at least five minutes, if not more. I uninstalled useless programs, I turned off things that didn't need to start up when the computer started up, I ran disk defragmenter, I ran an error check, and I tried to run disk cleanup, but that ran for twelve hours and got no more than 2%, even at 100CPU's. I don't know what else to do, because none of what I did made any difference. But I'm not going to worry about that now. I'm not going to worry about anything now, because all I've done this weekend is worry and I'm sick to death of it. I'm going to eat my chex mix and grapefruit, and enjoy looking at the flowers I bought myself. Yes, I bought them for myself because I wanted them, so sue me. Later.

Sorry

I'm sorry. I used you to vent and I made things out to be as bad as they really are, when I should have just kept them to myself and dealt with them. This morning started out really good. Well, there was only one good thing - I got out of my last class early and my paper's due date was pushed back half a week. The day started out with a shower that was either freezing cold or scalding hot, and without any sort of water pressure at all. Then I met my Dad and we went home. And I got to play therapist again (which I truly do not mind - I only mind the fact that there is a need for anyone to fill that role - that angers the hell out of me). And then I discussed the organic chemistry department at State for almost an hour, comparing the different professors based on the people I tutor's experience with lecture, homework, and exams. I have found out that my Dad is just blown away by what he perceives to be my knowledge and reasoning capacity, and that he really thinks I could do anything and that I will make a huge impact on the world someday. That is a whole lot, coming from my Dad, and I just wonder where he got that idea. I just want a small, quiet life, where I can live in my colorful and cozy home and count my millions as I watch movies and read books and cook chocolate souffles (which aren't as hard to make as you might suppose) and make up fairy tales to tell my children when I tuck them in at night. So, anyway, back to my original thread, I'm sorry. I was depressed last night, I'm depressed now, but that doesn't mean I get to waste your time talking about it.

Hi.

I've been staring at this screen now for a number of minutes, trying to think of something to write. I got my genetics test back today. I made a 100. Out of 100. I guess I should be happy. I'm not. Why? I dunno. Actually, I do, I just don't want to say. At least this time I have a reason. Anyway, I get to go home tomorrow. First I have to get up early, tutor for an hour, go to class for two hours, turn in my time sheets, grab lunch, and then meet my dad for our three hour, migraine-inducing trip. Then I will get home and promptly find the nearest bottle of Tylenol and a very quiet space to wait for to throbbing to go away. And when it doesn't, I'll get up and cook dinner or torment the cat.

Bwahahahahaha!!!!

I rule! I've just spent a combined time of one hour photo shopping a picture of my roommate Callie into a picture with boyfriend. The results aren't spectacular, but for someone who's never ever had one lesson in graphic design or photo shopping, I'm kind of proud. Plus I've heard nothing but, "You bitch!" or "I hate you!" or "You bitch!" ever since Callie discovered that I'd posted the picture on facebook.com and I'd tagged her in it. It was sooooo worth it.

I Rock

I just got my first quantitative chem test back. My professor said that we did very well as a class, and that he expected us not only to do this well on our next test, but to improve our scores by at least five points on the next exam. My question is if each test is out of 100 points, and no extra credit is given, then how can I earn five extra points on my next exam when I earned all 100 points on this one? I've done it again - I don't know how, like I said - it all comes down to luck. Still, 100/100 isn't bad. Not bad at all.

Crisis Averted

Apparently, the number one cure for my bouts of depression (a word I use lightly) is company. Good company, but company nonetheless. I can exist happily on my own, but sometimes I can't, and that's when I get really depressed. But, now that Callie and her [insert title] are here, things have brightened considerably. Not to mention I had a tutoring session this afternoon where I didn't do any real tutoring but I did do a lot of listening, and I was told that I was a good listener and a good 'therapist.' Stop laughing. I have been told this before - by my dad - and that probably counts for the most. Maybe I should be a therapist? So now I have two to three strengths - teaching (some things), listening, and what - providing therapeutic advice? Where does that leave me? Maybe I'll be a teacher/therapist at some school somewhere. A guidance counselor? If I become one, I'd make damn well sure that I provide more help to my students than my guidance counselor gave to me. It's a thought. Also, I received a Valentine's Day card from Callie's mom, which makes Callie's mom the coolest person in the world. I rarely ever get cards, so it makes it extra surprising and special when someone makes the effort to give me one.

I'm lost.

It's a quote from Lilo and Stitch. It's also how I feel right now. I can't seem to shake this rut I've fallen into. Not that it's been very long, but every since Sunday night, I've felt really down, and I can't explain it. Yes, I have a ton of work to do this week - three essays, over a hundred pages of reading, one half-exam, and various other assignments, but they're not enough to keep me in said rut. I had two tests last week and yet I felt much better then. Like I said, I can't seem to figure out what's going on, but hey, hopefully it will get better soon. It has to. That said, I need to do some Genetics homework.

Fin de Semana

Well. The weekend ended in much the same way as it began: with me in tears. I wasn't sad or depressed - it was purely vicarious experience. I woke up on Saturday, and my mom and my sister were watching a lifetime movie where this woman dies of cancer, but the death is all drawn-out and dramatized, and so all three of us girls were sitting on the couch crying our eyes out. And then they turned it onto this hallmark channel romantic movie fest. After crying my way through the entire first film, I had had it. When that movie was over, I left and took a walk outside. And then on Saturday night, I decided to watch a movie called Antwone Fisher sometime around midnight. I've seen the movie before, but it brings me to tears throughout the entire film. Actually, I could actually say that I almost broke into tears the moment my Dad and I drove down the driveway on Friday. It's so hard getting used to Scrappy not being there to greet me, not quivering with excitement just waiting to pounce on me. It's hard not thinking of her without getting this huge lump in my throat that threatens to choke me as it does now. I keep waiting for time to make it easier to bear, but it hasn't yet.

Anyway, I also had a very cool discussion about Colligative properties and how they relate to snow and ice. The colligative properties of salt solutions lower the freezing point of the solution requiring it to be colder in order for the roads and sidewalks to freeze over. And now as I sit here, I can see the bubbles rising up from my freshly opened sprite bottle. I know they are rising up because I changed the pressure in the container when I opened it, so there is now not enough pressure to keep the carbon dioxide dissolved in the solution. It's Henry's law at work, and I just had a test on it and colligative properties last Thursday. I am such a dork.

Aside from all the crying I did, it was a very good weekend. I got to go to a Christmas party and meet all kinds of cool and interesting people. I'm not usually much of a party person, in fact I avoid them as much a possible, but I actually had fun at this party. And speaking of parties, I hope everyone enjoyed their Superbowl parties, if they had one. I didn't. I went to the library to tutor someone in organic chemistry. When I got back, I dove straight into homework. The nice thing about this weekend was that I took one day completely off from school - I did absolutely no school work on Saturday. I made up for it by working on homework until ten tonight. But that's fine.

What's interesting is that I recently ordered a gift from Barnes and Nobles. Along with the gift, I ordered two books, one of them Cyrano de Bergerac. I haven't read the story since tenth grade, but I always watch the film whenever it's on, English subtitles or not. It truly is a wonderful story. One problem: when I ordered the book, I forgot to check the fine print, an omission which contributed to my surprise upon opening the package and discovering a book written completely in French. I don't understand French, but it's not worth it to send it back for a refund. I'll just learn French. Not.

And now, who knows? Maybe I'll go read a book, or maybe go to sleep. C'est la vie. Look, there's some French for you. Bon nuit.

Quotes for this week

Sunday: "My gift is my song And this ones for you. And you can tell ev'rybody, that this is your song. It may be quite simple but, now that it's done. I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind, that I put down in words...how wonderful life is now you're in the world..." --Moulin Rouge!

Monday: "I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself." --D.H. Lawrence as quoted in G.I.Jane

Tuesday: "Why do men feel they can justify death? Is it arrogance, or...? I have long feared that my sins would return to visit me, and the cost is more than I can bear." --The Patriot

Wednesday: "Morgan, this crop stuff is just about a bunch of nerds who never had a girlfriend their whole lives. They're like thirty now. They make up secret codes and analyze Greek mythology and make secret societies where other guys who never had girlfriends can join in. They do stupid crap like this to feel special. It's a scam. Nerds were doin' it twenty five years ago and new nerds are doing it again." --Signs

Thursday: "I'll never forget the first time that I heard, that pretty mouth say that dirty word. And I can't even remember now what she backed my truck into. But she covered her mouth and her face got red and she just looked so darn cute. That I couldn't even act like I was mad. Yeah, I live for little moments like that. That's like just last year on my birthday. She lost all track of time and burnt the cake. And ev'ry smoke detector in the house was going off, and she was just about to cry until I took her in my arms. And I tried not to let her see me laugh. Yeah, I live for little moments like that." --Little Moments, Brad Paisley

Friday: "Darling, why spend anymore time on that horse's ass when Mr. Tie-Me-Up-Tie-Me-Down is standing right over there?" --The Wedding Date

Saturday: "It's party time! P-A-R-T-Why? Because I gotta!" --The Mask

Unexpected Growth Spurt

Sometime in the last few years I managed to grow another two inches. I used to be right around five-foot-six-inches. Now I'm five-foot-seven and three quarters inches. Not particularly interesting, except that I thought I was done growing in the vertical direction. Hmm. I don't feel any taller. Hmm. Nope, not yet. This may take a while. I guess that's another way to get out of wearing heels - they'd make me too tall. And now it's time to make dinner - anyone for Mexican??

There is a God... (Part II)

And he's laughing at me. He answered the prayers of all of the 30,000-ish NC State students and faculty - it snowed today. And it was beautiful! I love snow, and I plan on having at least one of my future homes be somewhere up north - Maine, or maybe Connecticut - along the coast somewhere up there, so I can have plenty of snow to play in and look at. That aside, there was plenty of snow this morning. We had our blinds drawn closed this morning, and the first thing I did upon shutting-off my alarm was to peek through the blinds. I was met with a wondrous view of white. I said something along the lines of God or Damn or some other expletive. I then went to my computer and checked my desktop weather and this is what the radar showed. For once, Raleigh was in the white - way way in the white! I was so excited! I quickly threw on my PE sweats and my multiple layers of socks, grabbed my camera, and headed out to snap a few pictures. It was still snowing as I took the pictures and it was so beautiful. Like being inside of a dream... I stood out on the breezeway for a few minutes, snapping pictures, and then staring at all the funny, bundled up people walking by, trying not to slip in the compacted slush. It was then that I decided to check the NC State homepage to see if classes were canceled, or at the very least, if the Adverse Weather Policy had been implemented. Why did I bother? NC State has proven to me again that it doesn't give a damn about its students or faculty. If there is ice on the sidewalks, is it really safe to walk to class? If there is ice on the roadways, is it really safe to drive to campus? No. And yet the powers-that-be here at state decided that the faculty and the 15,000 or so students that commute to school everyday would be just fine and dandy driving in hazardous conditions. That's what I meant when I said God was laughing at me. He's laughing at all of us NC State students because he gave us what we said we wanted - snow - but he denied us what we really wanted - a day off from class. Meredith, which is within walking distance and has at most one-tenth of NC State's population was closed for the day. So was NCCU. What the hell is my school's problem?!? So, in the rapidly falling snow, Callie and I trudged to class, griping and groaning just like everyone else who had to slip on the sidewalks. And then later on today, when the snow became rain, and large puddles of icy water formed, some assholes thought it would be fun to throw a bunch of snow balls from their tenth-story windows into the puddles so that they could splash icy water and snow on the unsuspecting passersby [i.e. me]. That meant that I had to take my chemistry exam [which I thought was a joke, by the way] shivering in my sopping wet jeans. But now all I have to do is homework, which should be a breeze, so let's to it do it.