Chemistry Jokes*

*Yes, I am a chemistry nerd, and now you know it.

Little Willie from the mirror
Licked the mercury off.
Thinking in his childish error
It would cure his whooping cough.
At the funeral, Willie's mother
Smartly said to Mrs. Brown
“’Twas a chilly day for Willie
When the mercury went down.”

Johnny saw some dynamite
Couldn't understand it quite.
But curiosity never pays:
It rained Johnny for seven days.

Johnny, finding life a bore,
Drank some H2SO4.
Johnny's father, an MD,
Gave him CaCO3.
Now he's neutralized, it's true,
But he's full of CO2.

I had a brand new beaker once.
It's gone beyond recall.
For all the glass and pieces
Are embedded in the wall.

A mosquito was heard to complain
That a chemist had poisoned his brain
The cause of his sorrow
Was para-dichloro-
diphenyltrichloroethane.* [Better known as DDT]
*This is my personal favorite!

Organic Chemistry Student Before Exam


Organic Chemistry Student After Exam